Dazed and Confused

On leaving my house this morning at the regular time of 8.25am, i found myself in the middle of a traffic jam along the only road out of my 'Godforsaken one-horse town'. Bumper to bumper. At a standstill. People coming from that direction were shouting at us from their car windows "Turn Back if you can, you'll never get there" and "ITS HELL BACK THERE,YOU DON'T WANT TO GO..", it was like being on set of 'War of The Worlds' everyone desperate to be gone from that place. quite amusing actually but bizarre for sure.
Anyway, cutting a long story short; what usually takes me 30 mins to drive on automatic pilot took me 2hrs! The cause of this congestion wasn't some horrendous accident in which firemen where skillfully cutting away metal to free the injured and the dead. It was a shitty little traffic light they'd decided to plonk on top of a bridge to service a gas pipe..WANKERS.

I've just popped up to my parents house on my lunch hour. They weren't in because mum is at the hospital with my nan and dad is at work. it's a good job too because it was clear by the beautiful boquet of flowers and the heartfelt messages in cards around the house that i'd forgotten their Wedding Anniversary..again!

I made a promise to myself last year that i'd do something special for them this time (on account of me being a grown-up!) so how bad do i feel now? gutted. They won't mind because they're used to it now, but I do.

As the years pass by i realise how hard life is, how hard it's been for them over the years. Bringing up three children, making sure they had a great childhood without losing sight of themselves. Marvellous.

Happy Anniversary, love you both to bits x

I've had a great weekend, Liverpool won the FA Cup with absolute style and grace (as always) and my love for Steven Gerrard grows, but thats because he's a man that i don't know. The reality somewhat differs!

Don't get me wrong, i'm no feminist but this wknd i've had my fill!.. A house full of male friends on friday night including my son who is actually perfect and plays no part in this rant whatsoever, naturally! .

The thing is, they wee on toilet seats and come round the next morning after you've spent an hour bleaching the bathroom and decide to 'have a dump' announcing the fact that 'it was a clean break' and 'it doesn't smell' and as if that isn't a bit too much information theres a skid that team Ferrari would be proud of in the pan!

There's a hell of a lot more besides, and I do love my friends and my smart-mouthed brother (myownfault.blog.co.uk) but having my sister for dinner yesterday was certainly welcome relief from the testosterone!

What went right
and what went wrong
Was it a story or was it a song
was it overnight or
did it take you long
Was it your weakness that made you strong

Or all of the above
and how i love to see you smiling
Oh yeah, take a little pain just in case
You need something warm to embrace
to help you put on a smiling face..

Life is one way street ain't it
if i could paint it
I'd draw myself goin in the right direction..

NEVER..No matter how late for work you are, put on those snide thermal socks that somehow made their way into your drawer. In fact, when you get home..burn them!

She holds the hand that holds her down
She will...rise above

What's going on?.. It's Monday morning and i feel marvellous? i haven't got bags under my eyes like saddles? i haven't had the desire to feign my own death in order to leave work, go home, and sleep?

maaan..this is gonna be a good week!!

As I turn to you and I say
Thank goodness for the good souls
That make life better
As I turn to you and I say
If it wasn't for the good souls
Life would not matter..

For the first time in a long time i can honestly say that i'm so glad to see the back of this weekend. I have done nothing but drink, smoke and talk since friday night. I've managed to wear out my lungs and my jaw bone, my ears are buzzing and my head hurts alot. I'm not looking for sympathy, it's all my own fault, the only reason i'm writing this is because physically, i'm incapable of leaving this desk..

I'm 33 for Godsakes!.. when am i gonna grow up?

It was fun though.

Ticking away, the moments that make up a dull day
you fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to nought or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say..